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i want to achieve “she’s adorable and i will protect her at all costs but also i am slightly frightened by her power”


*wakes up from coma* 

teacher: here’s 300 assignments you missed and the homework from the past 3 months and all the 100 tests you didn’t do 



Somewhere between fuck you and I’d fuck you

somewhere between ‘go fuck yourself” and ‘no wait let me do it’

reading a foreign language you're trying to learn:  lol this is easy I understand so much of this
trying to construct sentences in that language:  wtf am I doing jesus take the wheel where is wiktionary




my friend did a psychology class in high school and came to my house and diagnosed my cat with depression 

explain to me how your friend “did” a psychology class

we have schools in australia 


when someone’s so attractive you want to fuck their brains out in the craziest way imaginable but they’re also rly nice and interesting and you wanna give their heart lil kisses and read books with them and cook breakfast for them in the morning


i want to wear your hoodies and stay up talking about the universe with you until 3 am and i want to hold your hand and kiss your face and hug you when im sad and have marathons of our favourite shows